Panel argues case for same-sex marriage

By Diane Reynolds, Carroll County Times Staff Writer
Thursday, March 30, 2006

Partners Lisa Polyak and Gita Deane, who have sued the state in the hopes of obtaining marriage rights, appeared as panelists Wednesday night at McDaniel College's "The Same-Sex Marriage Debate" discussion.

The two women and other representatives of the gay and lesbian community appeared before a standing-room-only crowd at the first in an annual lecture series sponsored by MacDaniel's Department of Political Science and International Studies.

In a new DVD, the American Civil Liberties Union unveiled at McDaniel on same-sex marriage rights, Polyak and Deane, who have been together 24 years, talked of the heartache they endured when Deane, who was not then a U.S. citizen, had to return to India for a time because she could not gain legal status to stay in this country by marrying Polyak. They later spoke of the questions their eldest daughter, who is 9, has raised about why the couple is not married.

"Why didn't you take care of this before we were born?" the daughter asked, according to Polyak.

Gay and lesbian couples consist of human beings who want the same things as heterosexual couples, members of the panel stressed.

"We want to get married," Polyak said.

During the panel discussion, David Rocah, an attorney with the ACLU of Maryland, explained that conferring a civil right for gays and lesbians to marry does not infringe on religious freedom or the right of religious institutions to refuse to sanction same-sex unions.

He and others on the panel framed the same-sex marriage issue as discrimination against that group, which is denied the rights and responsibilities of marriage.

The state has an equal rights amendment that specifically prohibits sex discrimination, and it recognizes marriage as a fundamental right, including the right of prisoners to marry, Rocah said.

Bringing the same-sex marriage issue to referendum and allowing the public to decide would allow one's neighbor to pass judgement on same-sex couples and would be psychologically scarring, said Dan Furmansky, executive director of Equality Maryland.

The courts should decide the issue, he said.

Rocah agreed. Amending constitutions through referendums is risky because constitutions are inherently anti-democratic, he said, in order to protect minority rights.

He also said allowing same-sex couples the same rights as married couples but not calling their union a marriage is confusing and conveys the message that same-sex couples are not as good as others.

The Rev. Anthony McCarthy, a pastor at Unity Fellowship Church in Baltimore, spoke of the need to change hearts, not minds, by convincing people that gay people are not monsters, he said.

But the Rev. Gary Buchman, pastor of Taneytown Baptist Church, and Del. Tanya Shewell, R-District 5A, neither of whom attended the panel discussion, favor restricting marriage to heterosexual unions and said it has nothing to do with hatred towards lesbians and gays.

God loves everyone, Buchman said, but has also established truths and morals that require a marriage to be between a man and a woman.

Societies that don't support traditional families decline, he said, and their children suffer.

Shewell, one of the sponsors of a bill that would have allowed voters to decide through referendum on a constitutional amendment to define marriage as between a man and woman, said minorities don't always get everything they want.

"I don't want to hurt anyone," she said, "but ... I see traditional marriage as sacred. It's the building block of society."

She believes the citizens of the state should have the right to decide the issue.

Reach staff writer Diane Reynolds at 410-857-7873 or reynoldsd@lcniofmd.com.

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